This month we celebrate Father’s Day. We honor fathers, who may not be perfect, but who love their children, train their children, protect their children and have good relationships with their children. Terrence Wilson, author of In Search of Father ,discusses in More Than Just a Provider how men must nurture their relationships in their family and with their children.
For years, the role of a father has been deteriorating to become nothing more than just someone who has the ability to provide for his family. After all, being the bread-winner for the family has been the calling card for males for centuries. It was not until the mid-1900s that women began to provide for families in the same way that men provided.
At that time, the relevancy of the father really began to come into question. Not because women should not be bringing in income, but because dad’s main role was to provide (or so we thought). Once women began making money, many began to ask the question, “What is your benefit to this household (father)?”
For years men were the main source of providers in the home. Accordingly, many men based their identity and based all their importance on this one role. However, because of this men also neglected many of the other responsibilities of what a father should be to his family. His relevance was in his ability to provide and he did not feel the need to interact and build relationships.
As men who are fathers, we need to begin to find our relevancy outside of being a provider. After all, you can provide for someone in New York while living in Dallas. Unfortunately, many men are accepting the fact that they can provide from anywhere and don’t have to be there (necessarily).
All too often this happens even when the father is in the household. I don’t know how many people I come into contact with who are hurting, not because their father was physically absent, but emotionally detached. He lived in the house and paid the bills but still he was a stranger to his family.
It is not God’s desire for men to be strangers in their own household. Instead, God lays out a great example of what a father is supposed to be. In 1 John 4: 19, we begin to understand that our love for God, our Heavenly Father, is in direct reciprocation to His love for us (we love Him because He first loved us). Again, in John 3: 16 we see that God made the first move in establishing a relationship with us as His children.
God desires for men to establish relationships with each member of the family and it is his responsibility to initiate them. When we as men take the time to build and establish relationships with our families, it won’t matter that there is a second income coming into the household because the father’s relevance is based on more than just being a provider.
The greatest example of a true father is our Heavenly Father. One of the names of God is Jehovah-Jireh, which means the Lord God our Provider. However, this name only represents one aspect of who He is. He is also our comforter, confidant, strong tower, best friend and counselor. All these aspects of God represent the true role of a father.
As you celebrate this Father’s Day, reflect on the relationship you have with each family member and understand that their success will be greatly benefited from your encouragement. Your presence in their lives will be like watering the fresh soil of a newly planted seed. As a father, you were truly made to be a refreshing in the lives of your family.
God is a father and you were made in His image. So represent the character of God to your family, friends and community and show them the true essence of Love.
Terrence Wilson is the founder of Wilstonian Enterprises (www.wilstonian.com), which exist to inspire individuals to be their best. This author, motivational speaker and life coach has over 13 years of working with churches, grassroots organizations and other youth groups across this nation. He currently runs a mentoring program called Project Timothy, in which he works with young male to become the man God created them to be. As a radio host, his broadcast Changing a Generation confronted head on the major unspoken issues that address our society today. He and his family currently reside in the Metro-Detroit area.
In the book In Search of a Father, the author Terrence Wilson opens up his life and personal struggles for all to enter into the world of the fatherless. The author opens his heart to allow the reader to live his life and struggle as he struggles and grow as he grows. After reading In Search of a Father the readers will be empowered to draw their strength from God to overcome any opposition in their lives.